We live in a universe and in a world about which we know so little. During our lives as individuals we learn a few things but most of the time we are blindly wandering around, seeking answers. We use our limited knowledge to make assumptions and draw conclusions about how things should be and then we expect life to turn out just like that. When it doesn’t, we suffer. Sometimes, it is just a scratch and it is easy to let it go and learn how to not get hurt again. Sometimes, it can be a big blow that leaves us paralyzed, cursing life, or our thinking for tricking us.
To expect things to go as we imagine or we want, based on our 0.00000001% (?!) knowledge of how the universe and the world works, means setting ourselves for almost constant disappointments and suffering. Planning and hoping, while staying aware of how the things we don’t know yet will bring us a different result, will prepare us to face reality with eyes open and learn more about it.
Creating expectations comes naturally and it fullfills our need for certainty and meaning. We have them since we want things from life, we want to survive, to evolve, and to be happy or we feel we are entitled to have, to receive, to be. What does not come naturally is the habit of balancing these expectations, adjusting them to the big chaos that reality is and using them to our own benefit.
Throughout our history, luckily, some people didn’t like the consequences of having false expectations and they tried to understand how to deal with it. Buddha talks about remaining humble in the face of the unknown around us and live with no expectations. Visionary people talk about transforming the way we create and keep these expectations alive by applying the Law of Expectancy: if we visualize very, very specifically, and without a trace of negative thoughts what the expectations are, focus on doing what we need to do to make them happen, then we can meet them. That is quite a challenge. Very specifically and perfectly positively!
I would say… accept that people can’t read minds and you will naturally start communicating instead of being frustrated. Accept that your job will not always be fullfiling and you will naturally be more prepared instead of overwhelmed. Accept that everyone makes mistakes and you will naturally learn to get things right instead of being stuck. Accept that we’re limited and vulnerable and you will naturally learn to be stronger instead of resentful. Accept that the expectations we adopt and create are mere assumptions and you will naturally start to adjust to reality.
If you don’t know how to do it, here’s a tip: breathe, smile and think again 🙂
Life will get easier and you’ll have fewer disappointments. The result will be more valuable than your expectations if you’re ready to accept it.
Elena-Iulia 